


A Guide For How to Handle Being Drunk (in Love) When Your Parent Comes to Visit

by ChaoticNeutral18



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: A bit of Camp Half-Blood Bashing, And actually trying, Author Is Sleep Deprived, But he's getting better, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Fix-It, Gen, He just wants what's best for his campers, Hermes' A+ Parenting, Inspired by a friend's fic, Kids deserve to be kids, Luke Castellan Is Tired Of The Gods' Shit, M/M, One Shot, Rare Pairings, The Gods Need To Get Their Shit Together, and trying her best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeutral18/pseuds/ChaoticNeutral18
Summary: A direct sequel to @IzzyMRDB's fic "Wishful Drinking (Tell myself that I'm not thinking)".  Won't make sense if you don't read that one first!Hermes hears that Luke and Dionysus are in a relationship, and visits Camp in a fury. Luke is not happy, to say the least.
Relationships: Luke Castellan & Hermes, Luke Castellan/Dionysus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	A Guide For How to Handle Being Drunk (in Love) When Your Parent Comes to Visit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IzzyMRDB](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzyMRDB/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Wishful Drinking (Tell myself that I'm not thinking)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870602) by [IzzyMRDB](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzyMRDB/pseuds/IzzyMRDB). 



> Hi! This is my first PJO fanfic, though I've been in the fandom for at least five years. As I said in the summary, this fic is a direct sequel to the amazing @IzzyMRDB's fic "Wishful Drinking (Tell myself that I'm not thinking)", and it will NOT make sense without reading that one first. And just check her out in general, she's absolutely incredible!  
> This fic is also dedicated to her, as she's an amazing friend & writer and just a brilliant person in general. You're the best Izzy!

It was perhaps three weeks after the first incident that Hermes paid Camp a visit, the nights filled with midnight drunkenness, sweet tastes of wine and each other on their lips, exploring hands discovering new places, heat and passion and utter _madness_ on their breaths ( _of course a god would be masters in their domains, but it still blew Luke away every time._ )

In a bright flash, Hermes appeared on Halfblood Hill, underneath Thalia’s Tree,( _what would she think if she could see him now, bending to the will of a god he’d sworn to despise?_ ), at about 3 in the afternoon, which was during Sword and Shield work for Cabin 11. His usual sly grin that he shared with his children strangely missing, looking serious in a way he never did. He looked angry, facial features hardened like marble. He looked like a _warrior_ , ready to protect and fight. 

Caduceus in hand, and campers running out of his way and bowing, he made his way up to the Big House, and all campers, even Chiron and Grover out in Manhattan, felt a sense of _wrongness_. Whispered prayers were the only thing heard as the children braced themselves for whatever conflict was sure to occur imminently. ( _and isn’t it awful that the children cower in fear of their parents? But no one ever accused the Gods of being good parents anyways._ ).

“Ah, hello Hermes. Do you have a package for me? And I do hope you'll replace that on the way out. You could’ve just opened the door.” Dionysus asked lightly, looking up from the latest edition of _Decanter_ magazine when the door was blown off its hinges.

“Cut the bullshit D. You know why I’m here.”

“I have no idea what you mean. I truly have no clue why you decided to drop by today, though it’s a welcome surprise.”

“You have been having a sexual relationship _with my SON!_ He’s barely eighteen!”

“Which one are you talking about, Charlie? Thomas? What are you going on about?”

“Hey Diiiiii…...yeah I’m just gonna go now.” Luke chose that moment to walk into the room, and immediately froze as he took in the scene in front of him. Hermes had lost all sense of civility and was nearly strangling the God of Wine, who in turn was obviously being flippant and aggravating the already agitated God. He tried to back out, but his father was faster, blocking his exit, and pulled him into his chest in a smothering, protective, hug. “Mmphf” Luke groaned. 

“This one! Luke. Don’t deny it, I know it’s true. What did you do to him Dionysus, I swear to Grandmother Rhea if you manipulated him or made him do it against his will I will make you fade. I’ll disrupt the transportation of wine for decades, making it always break, I’ll make wine unprofitable, tank the sales and stocks in wineries. I’ll make Broadway unprofitable if I have to. Now, _what did you do to my son?_ ”

Luke pushed himself away from his father, who was surprised enough at the resistance to loosen his grip. 

“He did nothing Dad! Everything was completely consensual. And he’s helped my siblings and cabin mates more than you or the others have. This is the first time you’re visiting, and it’s for this of all things? You have so many kids here. They’re going hungry! We are constantly active and burning calories, and yet we can only get food provided for three hours in the morning, and one in the afternoon and evening each. Sure, you can get more food at the Camp Store but the only way to earn any money here is to pick fucking stawberries at minimum wage. If you’re hungry enough to try and raid the Strawberry Fields, Olympus help you if you’re caught. Add in the minor facts that we are the only cabin to accept unclaimed children and those of the minor gods _along_ with my siblings, we’re easily six times bigger than any other cabin. And yet we only have a singular shower slot right before dinner. And then when we get to the Dining Pavilion, there are too many kids and not enough seats. The older ones of us are giving up things, missing meals more frequently so that the little ones can eat and have a semi decent experience at the only safe place for them, and try our _damnedest_ to never remind and make them forget that statistically, they’re likely to die young for the sins of their parents, so better enjoy what you have!”

He took a deep breath, and Dionysus looked at him worriedly. “ _Are you alright?_ ” he whispered. Luke shook his head, but replied “I will be. But this needs to be said first.”

Turning towards his stunned father, he grit his teeth. “This is the first time I’m seeing you since my mother went insane. I don’t know when I’ll see you again, as you clearly only care when other deities are ‘taking’ what you believe to be yours.”

“You don’t know how much I want to be there more Luke, but the Ancient Laws for-”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the damn ‘Ancient Laws’. This is about your children, and if Zeus has a problem with it he can bring it up with the three dozen starving children in the Cabin who are in danger everyday of their lives because of his and the others’ poor decisions and pointless feuds. The rest of the Olympians can claim their damn children and free up space in the cabin, oh and by the way most of us are sleeping on the _floor_ we’re that cramped, along with building a cabin for the children of minor gods to live in, as they should've done ages ago. It’s all these simple things that you refuse to do for us, for _them_ , when it’s as simple as snapping a finger for you. Oh, thank you for passing me the gift of thievery, it’s been very useful in raiding the convenience store down the road to feed my campers. The children of the all powerful Olympians, reduced to eating expired chips and crackers because their parents don’t care enough to change anything.” Luke nearly snarled, sarcasm and pain coating his tongue.

“I….” Hermes stuttered, seemingly at a loss for words. ( _Who knew it just took his son speaking up for once to make the God of Diplomacy silent._ )

“And before you start on Di, he’s been the only one helping me, helping your children. He’s been providing us with fresh fruit daily and is turning a blined eye to my sneaking out of camp to rob the convenience store, even informing me that I can take fresher and better things for the campers as the Mist extends that far. He’s been helping and doing things, when you, the father of a third of us and patron of the rest, have done nothing and apparently not even known about the issues. And”, here he took a deep breath, “I love him. Please don’t do anything to him.” 

Luke waited a moment, hesitant of his father’s reaction to him being vulnerable and open for once. 

Hermes sighed. “He’s truly not doing anything untoward to you?”

“He is not.” Luke said softly, looking back at the god, who was watching them carefully.

“Then there is nothing I can do but give you my grudging support. But, if he _ever_ tries something and hurts you IM me immediately. Do you promise?”

“I can agree to that, though I doubt he will.”

“I will NOT!” The aforementioned god chimed in. 

Hermes chuckled at that, before turning sober once more. 

“I had no idea about the situation in the cabin. I’ll fix things. I have some favors I need to call in. But things will change, and soon. I love all of my children, and I _despise_ the Ancient Laws, most of us do. But Zeus will never change them, and so we’re kept away from you, as painful as it is for us all.”

Luke smiled for the first time. “Thank you.”

“Of course, you’re my children and children I have accepted into my cabin, into my care. I need to make things as good for you as possible. It’s my duty. Though do try and be more respectful to the gods. Unfortunately they’re not all as understanding and open to criticism as I am.”

He sighed. “I need to go, but first I need to say this.” He closed the gap between them, and cupped Luke’s cheek. “I love you Luke. I love you and all of your siblings so, _so_ much.” 

A tear fell from Luke’s eye. “Thanks dad. ...I love you too.”

He brought Luke into a short hug, and then fixed the door. On his way out, he said over his shoulder “Oh and D, I’ll be watching you. Your precious grapes are at stake so _behave_.”

Dionysus winced. Luke came up behind him and tentatively put a hand on his back, smiling when the god leaned into his touch. “Well, that went better than expected.”

“That is true. But still, I see a drop in stock value for wine in the near future….” He sighed.

Luke laughed, and turned his head to capture the man’s lips with his own. “Unfortunately, I have to go, my campers will be wondering where I am and I don’t even _want_ to see the chaos Travis and Connor created in my absence. I’ll see you tomorrow, Di.”

“Goodbye for now then Luke. I’ll look forward to our meeting tomorrow.”  
_____________

At dinner that night, surprises galore awaited Cabin 11. When they walked into the pavilion, they saw that their table had been lengthened so that it would easily fit all of them, and some friends if they wished. 

Cries of joy came from the table the entire length of dinner, as camper after camper were claimed. It was beautiful, seeing those who had been in his cabin for years, finally knowing who their parent was and joining their cabin and being surrounded by siblings that were always there, but unknown. 

Luke leaned back on the bench, smiling to himself. Finally, things were starting to change, _finally_. He caught Dionysus’ eye, and raised his glass with a grin. Life was good.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!   
> If you want to send me an ask or just chat, my tumblr is @youngcreativenerdgoddess  
> Happy holidays to all, stay safe, and wear a mask!


End file.
